All children need to know that in god's light you are all loved equally.  And to those many children of my memories, I love you all and am eternally grateful.  You showed me what true love looks like.  Its' beauty is more than skin deep.  You are the blessed gift from the Creator of the Universe.  And it will be through you and your next generation who will save the world from it's greed.  .. not the end.  

Timmy my hero
& Cassandra 


1987 I was abandoned in a shack!  Timmy took care of me for 3 years.  He would help me to the outhouse 40 ft away before school.  He piled my wood and checked that I was okay!  After school she would come over and make sure I would eat!  Through him the whole neighborhood heard about the Gas Mask lady left to dy in a shack all alone..  Soon they rallied around me and I got hugs - their love and encouragement to continue my research into the cause of my disease.  Cassandra was my model I took dozens of photos of her, just for the fun of it!  Then I began to work towards getting research into Cheminosis; any disease caused by chemicals.

Jason became
a special friend.  

1987 Jason spent time with me helping me write as did Timmy.  He encouraged me to write a book for the children so they would not get my disease.  1987 I began with short sentances and cartoon figures.  I had lost all writing skills.  Mr. Mak a biochemist with Shoppers helped too.  So I began my early diet for disease control.  I gave each child a copy.  It was very basic but taught them about gas,oil,diesel being killers and to stay away from smelters Or to wear a gas mask! And about simple foods, fruit & veggies. One day in an attack (a bus spewing diesel) and my legs gave out, I dropped to the ground and was crawling.  Jason ran to my rescue!  He lived behind my shack.  Jason was about 8, and not very tall!  Yet, he helped to some cement blocks to sit.  Crying the pain shot through me like a machine gun ray of bullets.  He held me close and hugged me as I wept in agony.  Then he said, something I shall never forget, "Trudi, I am so sorry.  I would give you one of my legs but they are too short for you!"  I burst out laughing.  Any time I feel like wishing I was dead and want to give up - I remember Jason and Timmy and how much they cared.!

CHU CHU MY CAT! Best friend & most
loving 12 year relationship I ever had.
Not even once in 12 years did she ever desert me, hate me, or be mean.
Attending a wedding, a beautiful child wanted to dance jive like me!  This was a wonderful day for me!  I had so few I cherish each and every moment.

My life is a story of going from DEATH TO DANCING!  Suddenly an attack and I would be terminal.  Just as suddenly, months later, or weeks - seldon days.  I never knew why?  But if someone invited me to dance a wedding, church dance, singles bar, anywhere I could I would.  This was at a wedding and two sisters wanted me to teach them to jive.  The older of the two was a born natural.  Children were and will always be my salvation.  They are kind where as adults are often bullies and cruel to me.  I was always some one that people just seem to love to hate.  It happened again just this month, the owner of a bar was really mean to me.  I don't know why nor do I care.  I will just never go back. But just one day like this jiving with a child - just one day out of a year makes life worth living for me.  God bless the children.

Her name became chu chu because she made a funny noise the day I met her at the pet shop, locked in the cage.  She raced right up to me and it sound like chu chu.  It was love at first sight for us both.  But she was more than a cat.  She danced, walked on a leash, swam with me, shopped with me and grabbed hold of the mast on my wind sail with all four paws..  She jumped in the slippery grass along side of me cross crountry skiing in the park at the beaches in Toronto.  Yes, I said slippery grass!  I never waited for snow.  Cold makes me better always did and still does.  Triggers something great and my brain comes alive!  Being a paraplegic on & off most of my entire life - I hate being indoors.  Chu Chu was truly the longest best loving friend of my life.  I was never allergic to any of god's little creatures.  Just man made Canola Crappola!  When I became terminal 1983, my business partner took her.  She turned on me in a rage!  Who can blame her?  I had no way of explaining I was too sick.  And she would lay with me for days and if I did not eat she refused to eat.  I was forced to give her up terrified she would starve to death.  She never forgave me of course.  Still, I know she lived a wonderful life with Bruce and his family for many many more years.  Chu Chu was one in a million so I cannot bear to ever try to have another cat.  She was the only one for me.

1997: My neighbor used to have a Huskey dog, he & I were pals!  He and I loved to roll & play in the cold snow.  At night he'd howl for me and I'd put on my snow suit and we'd spend hours together... that is until some demonic person poisoned him.  They got a new dog, he was okay but it would never be the same for for me.  

This dog looked tough but was such a whooze.  He liked to be indoors and hated the snow.  Frankly, my favorite was not a dog but a wolf.  Gary Pucket was a musician pal from 1965 about i think?  Along the way he got married and we kinda lived different lives.  I was chasing a career and he was settling down.  He also was a hunter and had come across a baby male wolf.  Married & with small children he was afraid to leave the wolf with them went he had a gig.  I adored that wolf and other than Gary, the wolf truly loved me.  So I became his babysitter since I hated going out Saturdays, I was available.  I had a small apartment near Mt. Pleasant Drive & Davisville in upper Toronto.  I was a big fan of Mr. Yost (?) Saturday night at the movies.  So me and the wolf spent Saturday together. I'd make a big bucket of pop corn and watched my favorite old movies.  Nobody does it like Elwy Yost did.  He interviewed the very people that were on the set or behind the scenes on the exact same movie he was showing that night.  It was so well co-ordinated.  I hate the format now.  So back then that wolf lay on me and we ate pop corn and watched old movies until 2 am.  What fun we had!  He would lick my face and snuggle to my chest like a happy child! Hours went by, it was blissful for me. Then suddenly he'd whimper, jump up onto my table which sat near the window.  Delicately those hug paws would step around candle stick holders, glass nick nacks & vase with flowers & never broke a thing!  Amazing!  He would look at me and whimper then press his nose to the window.  I'd say, Gary is not here yet, you silly guy!  And I would give him a big hug.  About 15 minutes later Gary's Van would pull up and to this day it still amazes me how they can know even when that someone they love is a mile away?!  Gary finally gave in and took our sweet wolf to a lovely sactuary up north.  He pined for us for a long time but he had a good and happy life.


Dexter was so much like Gary's wolf!  It was love at first sight for us both!  I stayed on a farm for 5 months and the farmer did a great job of helping me with my diet.  Being a Metis he combined the best of native teachings and good old fashioned logic.  Clean food, clean air, clean water.  Dexter, however; was beyond belief.  He would run along side of me on my 3 wheel trycicle.  I can't ride a 2 wheeler I fall due to my Parkinsonism Disease.  Dexter chased a bear away one day walking in the bush!  You just knew you were safe as long as he was around.  He ran in the snow as I cross country skied.  Dexter was a farm dog so not allowed in the house.  He buried food like a wolf or Huskey & ate it when it got rotten. Yuk.  But he never had bad breath!? If it was an okay day I'd put out a blanket on the grass & lay with Dexter for a nap.  He protected the farm animals and me from bears, wolves, predators and more.  


One day in a blizzard driving back to the farm from town, my car spun out of control many miles from the farm.  My peice of junk a GM car that I hate which was a total rip-off buying it brand new and GM would not do anything about the warped rotars at 1,000. k I had to replace them.  The car took over $25,000. brakes front & back etc. in the end and I will never forgive GM for what they did to me.  I am handi-capped and the car was dangerous from day one!  Anyhow, I took out my cross country skies and began to ski toward the farm.  When I got about half way there about 1/2 hour later...  Dexter jumped all over me and was very excited.  We hugged and he kissed me all over my face and then he walked along side of me as I skied.  He'd look up and check if I was okay.  Dexter always knew if I was in pain, sad or upset. We got to the farm and the farmer was really annoyed.  Dexter had refused to bring the cows in and had run off.  Well, you can imagine his shock when I explained I was in an accident.  The farmer said something in French like its okay I forgive you, took out the tractor and we went and rescued my car!  


The 5 months I spent with Dexter were bitter sweet.  The farmer took a mini-stoke, instantly became someone else, killed my little kitten Goldie at 7 weeks & I fled, never to return.  That's the problem with being poisoned and brain damage - it doen't just rob you of your life - it robs you of your memories.  This farmer hated me from that day to this.  Personally, I will always be grateful to that farmer.  He was a Metis and he knew stuff you can't find in any dictionery.  Sadly,  I was not going to be  allowed to see Dexter ever again.  Dexter knew the truth, he wept along with me when we said goodbye.  I hope I get to see them all when I die.  

1985: Fishing with Les Crowe & his Dad both expert fishermen,  I caught one & they didn't!  I was so proud of myself, despite how sick I was.  That family made me feel loved.  Altho I can swim as good as any fish I have to stay covered up, heat & sun sensitive I get heat stroke very fast.  And there are very few lakes that are safe for me to swim in - they are all so contaminated that I break out into terrible rashes.  If I get any lake water in my mouth I go into toxic shock, then there are those damn sea doos, boats & plane toxic fumes to trigger Anaphylactic shock.  So I don't get out much, spring, summer or fall.

I have had some rather unusal experiences with our Creator's little creatures.  A rainbow trout in 1989 at Windy Lake one very hot summer's day took a like to me.  I swim always sort of dancing in the water like Ester Williams in the movies.  Of course 1981 was the last day I swam until that farmer helped me find places where there are less fumes.  Otherwise, I can't.  And I don't know of any gas mask that is water proof.  So here I was at a lovely place around September at Windy Lake a park far north of Sudbury.  And this Rainbow trout took a liking to me.  I would roll over like Ester and the Rainbow Trout did the same thing.  Well, a young lad watching was as surprised as me and ran to get his parents to see me dancing in the water with this fish.  He or she, came right up to my chest with its mouth opens and shuts almost like it was blowing me kisses.  I'd lay on my back and it would stay right along my chest as I swam.  Then I'd roll over and it would roll over and get right back to my chest.  We did this dance for such a long time then finally my legs and arms were too sore to continue.  So I tred slowly to an upright position.  And the fish stayed right there with me as I walked slowly to shore.  By then we had an audience & I was afraid someone would try to hurt it so I waved to it and told it to go now, splashed a bit of water to make it leave.  I never ate Rainbow Trout again.  How could I?  


I swam once with a snake, it was either that or let the wasps get me.  I swam carefully so as not to frighten it while my friends were screaming on shore, terrified of it because it was a Water Moccosin and poisonous.  So to accomodate them, finally reluctantly I got to shore and out of the water.  To my horror some jerk had a shovel and killed it.  I screamed and screamed at him that it was not hurting anyone.  I could see the snake was swimming a clear path to a hole several feet from their dock.  I went over to the hole and sure enough, there were babies.  They had killed their mom.  I left in a huff and never was friends with these people again.  I am not saying anyone should swim with snakes but if it is not doing you any harm - which clearly she was not even swimming toward me - then leave god's little creatures alone.  When I was a child, granma told me god's creatures (except or wasps) all did good things, like the Garter snake eats flies and is good to have in a garden.  I began to sing to those Garter snakes and dance to them.  They seemed to like it and bobbed their little heads in motion to me.  I felt a love for them and still have a hard time eating fish (actually I quit) meat & such.  I just don't like eating something that might have been my friend.  I do eat a little meat, but never a lot.  I was vegetarian for decades but eventually my B deficiencies and pills forced me to start eating a small amount of meat.  Since I am now 72 years old, never been more healthy, I think meat is highly over-rated as a good source of protein.  I have lived my life with very little love in it, so I take it when ever, where ever, and from what ever I can.  No human being has ever consistantly loved me half as much as god's little creatures have.  I have been truly blessed.

I live each day, never forgetting the child I lost...  I live each day, one day at a time - trying to save just one child, one person from the brutality & torture of my disease.  I don't however, wish to keep fighting all alone to stop Health Canada from killing any more of our kids.  Canadian children have less rights than a stray dog!  My life is living proof of that!!  Copy of Veterinary medicine scientific research that proved Canola oil caused to animals that ate it - the symptoms of my disease Parkinsonism.